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Anonymous
Jun 16, 12:24 PM

I just had a heart wrenching break up

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Breaking up hating each other is better than breaking up when you both care for each other. I met her at a very fragile stage, she was heartbroken, i felt more like her older brother. She's definitely not my type. She's not a bad person but we are not really compatible that much. As friends we would be okay but relationship, marriage? That's a disaster. She's someone who is comfortable with a simple message for a day. Whereas i crave attention. She's hot tempered and I'm someone who is carefree and hates drama. I'm someone who likes a patient understanding partner whereas she's someone who likes to jump to conclusions. I have my own shortcomings as well, There are other mismatches which i can't disclose here out of respect for her. Am i a bad person if i end things because i see red flags that will cause issues for us in the future? I'm someone who dislikes drama and I'm told most women are dramatic. This is the second relationship I've had to end when we both care for each other. Maybe I'm being impatient with women? You don't have to respond. I Just want to clear my head I'll be dropping the message i sent as a picture. Tell me what you think if you can relate

Replies

(14)
Anonymous
Jun 16, 12:29 PM
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The chat
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Anonymous
Jun 16, 12:30 PM
The chat Wslm. I never wished to say anything but for the sake of closure let me put something straight. You said you're forcing yourself to love me. Do i feel loved? No. In all honesty maybe we both express love in different manner ? I've been trying to make things work on my part. I felt maybe it's from me, i have avoided complaining like before. Last night i was very ill but i still stayed up to discuss with you but what do i get complaints? You didn't do me anything wrong, you feel it's about misunderstanding but no I just realized that we express love in different languages and we are emotionally incompatible. We don't owe each other love, but we do owe each other our peace of mind. And if we're not getting it despite numerous attempts. Then maybe it's best to not to force things to work. I plan on marrying once and final. My peace of mind is non-negotiable, it comes before love. If i can't get it then what's the point. Tell your brothers, ustaziya and mom I'm truly sorry but it's better to end things rather than get married and we end up hating each other and regretting. All the best
Reply
Anonymous #1
Jun 16, 02:52 PM
Anonymous Jun 16, 12:30 PM
The chat Wslm. I never wished to say anything but for the sake of closure let me put something straight. You said you're forcing yourself to love me. Do i feel loved? No. In all honesty maybe we both [...] The chat Wslm. I never wished to say anything but for the sake of closure let me put something straight. You said you're forcing yourself to love me. Do i feel loved? No. In all honesty maybe we both express love in different manner ? I've been trying to make things work on my part. I felt maybe it's from me, i have avoided complaining like before. Last night i was very ill but i still stayed up to discuss with you but what do i get complaints? You didn't do me anything wrong, you feel it's about misunderstanding but no I just realized that we express love in different languages and we are emotionally incompatible. We don't owe each other love, but we do owe each other our peace of mind. And if we're not getting it despite numerous attempts. Then maybe it's best to not to force things to work. I plan on marrying once and final. My peace of mind is non-negotiable, it comes before love. If i can't get it then what's the point. Tell your brothers, ustaziya and mom I'm truly sorry but it's better to end things rather than get married and we end up hating each other and regretting. All the best
0
Poster you did the right thing.,this is my situation right now,it seems this generation is not ready for my type of love sha Allah ya kawo wata ta gari .Ameen
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Anonymous #2
Jun 16, 05:31 PM
Dear poster I really don't think you did anything wrong.. one thing I believe is that one's peace of mind is non_negotiable, so it's better to let go of whatever is disturbing your peace of mind especially when there are obvious red flags. There shouldnt be any kind of compromise that tends to disturb One's sanity .... May Allah make it easy for you and us all (Ameen)
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Anonymous #3
Jun 16, 09:00 PM
ur not a bad person since when ur in a relationship is a life time thing not not a thing of days or months so u both have to be comfortable with each other so anytime u see things that ur not comfortable with u need to a decision that will be great for u both
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Anonymous #3
Jun 16, 09:01 PM
Anonymous #2 Jun 16, 05:31 PM
Dear poster I really don't think you did anything wrong.. one thing I believe is that one's peace of mind is non_negotiable, so it's better to let go of whatever is disturbing your peace of mind espec[...] Dear poster I really don't think you did anything wrong.. one thing I believe is that one's peace of mind is non_negotiable, so it's better to let go of whatever is disturbing your peace of mind especially when there are obvious red flags. There shouldnt be any kind of compromise that tends to disturb One's sanity .... May Allah make it easy for you and us all (Ameen)
1
that's just the fact no compromise in a relationship if it's a red flag
Reply
Anonymous #4
Jun 16, 09:03 PM
Anonymous #1 Jun 16, 02:52 PM

Poster you did the right thing.,this is my situation right now,it seems this generation is not ready for my type of love sha Allah ya kawo wata ta gari .Ameen

1
Same here he's always too busy and is comfortable without texting back in a day or two....this dating thing is smth else...am beginning to think arranged marriage will be the best
Reply
Anonymous
Jun 17, 11:50 AM
Anonymous #4 Jun 16, 09:03 PM

Same here he's always too busy and is comfortable without texting back in a day or two....this dating thing is smth else...am beginning to think arranged marriage will be the best

1
It's not really about getting married. It's about staying married. A lot of marriages are ending left right and center. Even with arranged marriage you are not safe. Arranged marriage is like picking two different shapes in a box hoping to fit. Either way May Allah choose the best for us and may we be the best partner for the one whom He chooses for us as Sometimes you meet someone and feel they are the perfect person for you... Only to get married and watch them change completely. A lot of people don't get married for love... Some for the tag of wife or husband, some for kids, some sex,some facial beauty. When the honeymoon stage is over things start to collapse.
Reply
AbdulMajid Snr
Jun 18, 02:42 PM
Marriage is a compromise. Learn to find a middle ground.
Reply
Meemaaa
Jun 18, 05:07 PM
Anonymous Jun 16, 12:30 PM
The chat Wslm. I never wished to say anything but for the sake of closure let me put something straight. You said you're forcing yourself to love me. Do i feel loved? No. In all honesty maybe we both [...] The chat Wslm. I never wished to say anything but for the sake of closure let me put something straight. You said you're forcing yourself to love me. Do i feel loved? No. In all honesty maybe we both express love in different manner ? I've been trying to make things work on my part. I felt maybe it's from me, i have avoided complaining like before. Last night i was very ill but i still stayed up to discuss with you but what do i get complaints? You didn't do me anything wrong, you feel it's about misunderstanding but no I just realized that we express love in different languages and we are emotionally incompatible. We don't owe each other love, but we do owe each other our peace of mind. And if we're not getting it despite numerous attempts. Then maybe it's best to not to force things to work. I plan on marrying once and final. My peace of mind is non-negotiable, it comes before love. If i can't get it then what's the point. Tell your brothers, ustaziya and mom I'm truly sorry but it's better to end things rather than get married and we end up hating each other and regretting. All the best
0
Salaam Alaykum well in all honesty you didn't do anything wrong, because even i feel wanting to get attention from the person you love is very okay. Understanding each other's feelings and emotions. you two weren't meant to be together.... Allaah will bless you with the best In Shaa Allaah But why will she say she is forcing herself to love you, all this dating thing is scaring wallaah.
Reply
Meemaaa
Jun 18, 05:13 PM
Anonymous Jun 16, 12:30 PM
The chat Wslm. I never wished to say anything but for the sake of closure let me put something straight. You said you're forcing yourself to love me. Do i feel loved? No. In all honesty maybe we both [...] The chat Wslm. I never wished to say anything but for the sake of closure let me put something straight. You said you're forcing yourself to love me. Do i feel loved? No. In all honesty maybe we both express love in different manner ? I've been trying to make things work on my part. I felt maybe it's from me, i have avoided complaining like before. Last night i was very ill but i still stayed up to discuss with you but what do i get complaints? You didn't do me anything wrong, you feel it's about misunderstanding but no I just realized that we express love in different languages and we are emotionally incompatible. We don't owe each other love, but we do owe each other our peace of mind. And if we're not getting it despite numerous attempts. Then maybe it's best to not to force things to work. I plan on marrying once and final. My peace of mind is non-negotiable, it comes before love. If i can't get it then what's the point. Tell your brothers, ustaziya and mom I'm truly sorry but it's better to end things rather than get married and we end up hating each other and regretting. All the best
0
if you need a friend or someone to talk to, feel free to reach out In Shaa Allaah. Thank youu
Reply
Anonymous
Jun 18, 09:24 PM
Meemaaa Jun 18, 05:13 PM

if you need a friend or someone to talk to, feel free to reach out In Shaa Allaah. Thank youu

0
Okay can i have your details
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Anonymous
Jun 18, 10:33 PM
Comment has been deleted
Done check
Reply
Fatima Abbah16
Jun 20, 06:32 PM
AbdulMajid Snr Jun 18, 02:42 PM

Marriage is a compromise. Learn to find a middle ground.

0
thats it , Allah ya hadamu da Abidjan zama na gari
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